Obituary: on the death of Common Sense

Good ol' Uncle Sandy again. I imagine this one's been around the barn a few times, but hey, it's OUR blog, and we get to post whatever we want. (That's what Web 2.0 is all about.)

I've cleaned up punctuation and deleted some stuff I didn't like, because hey, it's my blog. :) You can start a blog too - see the Create Blog link at top right. I'd never had a blog, until I started one. (Duh?)

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An Obituary, purportedly from the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who had
been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was - he'd been around as long as anyone could remember. He will be recalled as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• When to come in out of the rain
• The early bird gets the worm
• Life isn't always fair
• Maybe it was my fault.
  

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overdone regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding a student worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant.

Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses and criminals sometimes received better treatment than their victims.

The onset of his final illness occurred when a woman placed a steaming cup of coffee between her legs, spilled it, and won a lawsuit about the consequences.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by four selfish stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, It's His Fault, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because hardly anyone noticed he was missing.

If you remember him, pass this on. If not, join the crowd.